A 19 year old young man said something startling to me the other day. Reflecting on his meditation practice and his life, quoting from something he recently read, he reached the following conclusion:
One pays with oneself.
Think about that.
As his listener, I felt a rush of pure joy, the kind one feels when one’s heart recognizes truth.
It makes sesnse, doesn’t it, that the cost of crossing the bridge into spiritual waters would require nothing less than oneself, what Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche refers to as one’s “me-ness?”
Unfortunately, “me” goes where angels fear to tread.
Yup, a rush of inspiration lasts only so long. When the rubber hits the gravel road, I’ve worked all day, it’s 6pm, and I haven’t meditated, the naked truth no longer quite cuts it for “me.”. I’d rather pay for a foot rub, or at least get a shower and watch some CNN. You?
Don’t you think most egos, (well, mine at least,) don’t like the cushion? I mean, after the initial romance, aren’t we kind of dying to get off of it?
The Dzoghen Ponlop Rinpoche draws an interesting analogy:
As a buddhist, I often contemplate how, at the hour of my death , will I have wanted to have spent my life? I will have wanted to travel that road, gravel and all.
How will I ever make that happen? By lovingly limiting “me,” and taking heed of the wisdom of my 19 year old friend.